Whew that’s a banger of a title to get us going on a Monday, huh? Depression and chronic illness – how do they correlate and affect someone on a daily basis?
You may not be surprised to find that these two get a kick out of ganging up on people. To be honest, they’ve been beating me up quite a bit lately. MyΒ gastroparesis has been taking the lead, bringing on some of the most challenging flare-ups I’ve experienced in a long time. At a certain point, being in extreme pain, curled up in bed for days at a time, with waves of nausea just washing over me incessantly, depression decides to step in.
I don’t use the term “depression” lightly, at all. Not only has it been something I’ve battled with for years, but it’s sadly genetic and I see family members suffer on a daily basis. My struggle with this monster is how it likes to tell me that I’m worthless because I’m unable to live a “normal” life. It tells me that everyone hates me because I’m so much work to take care of, and the pain will never stop, and I will never be able to work as hard as I should to succeed. Depression is – for lack of a better word – vile.
Depression and chronic illness share friendship bracelets, I swear.
When one rears its ugly head, the other is quick to follow. Lately, I’ve found myself taking painfully hot showers at 3pm on a Monday just to distract myself with sensory overload. I sometimes stare at my laptop for a couple of hours, willing myself to get work done, only to shut it and go lay in bed because I can’t focus on anything other than my discomfort. Recently, I even wrote down what depression feels like – on the absolute worst day I’ve experienced in years. I broke down and laid on the floor of my hallway, sobbing to myself, unable to cope with anything – and my stomach pain worsening with each tear that fell.
Sometimes life is scary with a chronic illness. It’s even scarier when depression gets all up in your business. Honestly, I wish I could give some sort of positive, uplifting quote here that would make it all seem like it’s fine. Shouldn’t I, as a blogger, find a way to twist this situation into something helpful for someone else? Well, this isn’t that kind of post. Today I’m admitting that life has beenΒ really rough lately, and I’m a human with human challenges, trying to work through them, not always succeeding, but doing her best.
I feel obligated, in a way, to share this reality with you, as my readers and friends. While social media may sometimes make it seem that everything is great, life is easy, money is flowing, work is fantastic, etc. That is definitely not the case. Every once in a while, I just need you all to see the behind-the-scenes and understand that I’ll always be as real with you as possible. There is a reason why I don’t post every day, and half of my stories are filmed from my bed. Thank you for standing by me while I continue to fight through this season.
Related Posts
Confessions of a Gastroparesis-Sufferer //Β How to Be Intentional With Your Self-Care Routine //Β The Ultimate Guide to Combatting a Bad Day
Rachel says
Stephanie – This post is amazing. Oftentimes, people don’t realize that chronic illness and depression go hand in hand and this post can help them understand. I hope your flare-ups get better soon!
Rachel
Yolanda says
I completely understand where you are coming from as I struggle with this battle too. The bad days are bad, but one thing I try to do is focus on the good days and cherish those as much as possible. Big hugs to you and hers to kicking depression in the butt! xox
Katie Buller says
It’s so lovely that you’ve chosen to share this post. What a brilliant and inspiring topic to write about.
Adriana Renee says
Thanks for sharing and sending you all the love! It’s so hard to understand what’s happening sometimes and it’s always important to share.
Hillary Conheady says
I love how open you are in this blog post! Thank you so much for sharing and sending love your way!
Tanvi Rastogi says
The sad thing about mental illness IS that it is connected and our whole body starts to react when we are not mentally healthy. I appreciate you shedding light on this matter. I hope you feel better soon. Xx
β₯ tanvii.com
Maria says
I so appreciate you sharing your story, the more we share, the more we increase understanding and help reduce stigma. Keep up the good work!
Cathy says
It’s so true, it’s easy to fall into depression when struggling with a cronic illness. It’s so good that you are aware of this and helping spread awareness. You’re an amazing person and you can overcome all of it! You got this!
XOXO
Cathy
Donna says
You are one of the toughest people I know; fighting pain and demons at the same time. Iβm glad that your toolbox is full and you have the weapons that you need for each battle. Iβm proud of you for honestly sharing openly with others. There is strength in numbers and that can only happen as the stigma for those with depression and chronic illness is obliterated. You go girl!
Indya | The Small Adventurer says
Oh, how my heart goes out to you. I just read your post about gastroparesis and that was super eye-opening as I hadn’t heard of it before. It’s heartbreaking to see so many people living with chronic illnesses, but I also love that the internet is teaching us all about the different kinds and just how tough it is to live with them. I have a much lesser known kind of epilepsy that only two people out of EVERYONE I KNOW actually seems to believe is epilepsy, even though I’ve had many scans and tests and been diagnosed 😅 But because it doesn’t sound like the kind everyone else knows, people get confused, and that can be very depressing. Illnesses are very isolating, because even your loved ones don’t truly know what you’re going through, but I just try to remind myself that even if they don’t understand, they try their hardest to look after me, and I couldn’t ask for anything more. Wishing you all the best.
Indya | The Small Adventurer says
Oh, how my heart goes out to you. I just read your post about gastroparesis and that was super eye-opening as I hadn’t heard of it before. It’s heartbreaking to see so many people living with chronic illnesses, but I also love that the internet is teaching us all about the different kinds and just how tough it is to live with them. I have a much lesser known kind of epilepsy that only two people out of EVERYONE I KNOW actually seems to believe is epilepsy, even though I’ve had many scans and tests and been diagnosed π But because it doesn’t sound like the kind everyone else knows, people get confused, and that can be very depressing. Illnesses are very isolating, because even your loved ones don’t truly know what you’re going through, but I just try to remind myself that even if they don’t understand, they try their hardest to look after me, and I couldn’t ask for anything more. Wishing you all the best.
Morgan says
So sorry you’re having to walk through this!! The correlation of the illness’s is all to real and I’m praying for you!
-Morgan
How 2 Wear It [] http://how2wearit.com
Oh to Be a Muse says
Thank you so much for being so vulnerable and honest. You did not need to open up about this, but in doing so, I’m sure you’ve helped out someone who might also be suffering from either a chronic illness, depression or both. Lots of love.
Lauryn Hock says
I love you so much!!!! Thank you for sharing this. Mental illness runs in my family as well. I feel lucky that, even though I deal with anxiety and depression, they have understood and supported me my entire life. It’s not an easy journey, and it’s even worse if you’re doing it alone. You’re not alone, though. Keep sharing so that you can help others feel strength in numbers!
Anna says
What an amazing and inspiring post for those going through the same thing. Thanks for sharing your perspective!
Rach says
I can definitely relate. Life is for sure scary with a chronic illness. Ever since I was diagnosed with cancer, it definitely messed with my mind on my perception of life and how I want it to be. I am so sorry you are going through this. You are not a lone. What has helped me is that I have a psycho-oncologist and it has been beneficial. Hopefully your provider will have something like that too!
http://www.rdsobsessions.com
Morgan says
So sorry you’re having to walk through this!! The correlation of the illness’s is all to real and I’m praying for you!
-Morgan
How 2 Wear It [] http://how2wearit.com
Candace says
Thank you so much for being vulnerable and opening up to all of us. Life as an influencer isn’t as easy as the pretty pictures we post on Instagram might make it seem. There’s always more going on behind the scenes. I love that you choose to share your struggles with your audience. It allows people to connect with you on a deeper level.
Laura S says
What a great post. Depression is something that not enough people truly understand and it’s super important to share. Thank you for being so open about something that a lot of people deal with but don’t talk about. You’re a warrior, girl!
Oh to Be a Muse says
Thank you so much for being so vulnerable and honest. You did not need to open up about this, but in doing so, I’m sure you’ve helped out someone who might also be suffering from either a chronic illness, depression or both. Lots of love.
Megan says
Great post this week! I think it’s important to talk about issues like depression and chronic illness. It’s not talked about enough and many people struggle with it.
Lauryn Hock says
I love you so much!!!! Thank you for sharing this. Mental illness runs in my family as well. I feel lucky that, even though I deal with anxiety and depression, they have understood and supported me my entire life. It’s not an easy journey, and it’s even worse if you’re doing it alone. You’re not alone, though. Keep sharing so that you can help others feel strength in numbers!
Rach says
I can definitely relate. Life is for sure scary with a chronic illness. Ever since I was diagnosed with cancer, it definitely messed with my mind on my perception of life and how I want it to be. I am so sorry you are going through this. You are not a lone. What has helped me is that I have a psycho-oncologist and it has been beneficial. Hopefully your provider will have something like that too!
http://www.rdsobsessions.com
Helena Marz says
I can totally relate to this post because l suffer from Lupus especially extreme fatigue which leads me feeling depressed. It’s not a nice feeling at all and it is very difficult for anyone who has chronic illness especially when people don’t understand at all. The best thing to do is when you are having good days, take advantage of it and enjoy it! Keep fighting and don’t worry what others think! ❤️
Candace says
Thank you so much for being vulnerable and opening up to all of us. Life as an influencer isn’t as easy as the pretty pictures we post on Instagram might make it seem. There’s always more going on behind the scenes. I love that you choose to share your struggles with your audience. It allows people to connect with you on a deeper level.
Laura S says
What a great post. Depression is something that not enough people truly understand and it’s super important to share. Thank you for being so open about something that a lot of people deal with but don’t talk about. You’re a warrior, girl!
Megan says
Great post this week! I think it’s important to talk about issues like depression and chronic illness. It’s not talked about enough and many people struggle with it.
Carolyn says
I am so sorry girl. I don’t have a chronic illness, so I can’t relate to your pain at all, but I’m sending you lots of hugs. Thank you for sharing your struggle and keep fighting! We’re right here with you!
Monica says
Sending warm thoughts and good vibes your way. Depression can be such a monster and often times we don’t acknowledge it publicly enough. I can definitely relate to taking scolding hot showers in hopes to dull the sensory overloud and quiet the thoughts. You are not alone girl, and know that your post has touched many who are experiencing similar things. <3
Lydia says
Thank you so much for sharing and being honest, and not feeling like you have to wrap everything up in a pretty bow to share it. So many of us struggle with depression and it can become very difficult to separate ourselves from our illnesses.
Chic on the Cheap
Erin says
This is such an important topic. I’m a therapist and have dedicated my entire working life combatting stigmas and helping others. I love that people are speaking out. Thank you for sharing. You are right though chronic illness does absolutely go together. I’m here for you girl.
Helena Marz says
I can totally relate to this post because l suffer from Lupus especially extreme fatigue which leads me feeling depressed. Itβs not a nice feeling at all and it is very difficult for anyone who has chronic illness especially when people donβt understand at all. The best thing to do is when you are having good days, take advantage of it and enjoy it! Keep fighting and donβt worry what others think! β€οΈ
Greta says
I’m so sorry you’re having to go through all this. It sounds absolutely awful! Thanks for opening up and sharing your journey with us.
Lily says
Oh sweet friend, I’m so sorry you are going thru this. As someone who worked in the medical field for years, I can totally see how chronic illness and depression go hand in hand. Sending you so much love and hugs!
Carolyn says
I am so sorry girl. I don’t have a chronic illness, so I can’t relate to your pain at all, but I’m sending you lots of hugs. Thank you for sharing your struggle and keep fighting! We’re right here with you!
Monica says
Sending warm thoughts and good vibes your way. Depression can be such a monster and often times we don’t acknowledge it publicly enough. I can definitely relate to taking scolding hot showers in hopes to dull the sensory overloud and quiet the thoughts. You are not alone girl, and know that your post has touched many who are experiencing similar things. <3
Lydia says
Thank you so much for sharing and being honest, and not feeling like you have to wrap everything up in a pretty bow to share it. So many of us struggle with depression and it can become very difficult to separate ourselves from our illnesses.
Chic on the Cheap
Erin says
This is such an important topic. Iβm a therapist and have dedicated my entire working life combatting stigmas and helping others. I love that people are speaking out. Thank you for sharing. You are right though chronic illness does absolutely go together. Iβm here for you girl.
Greta says
I’m so sorry you’re having to go through all this. It sounds absolutely awful! Thanks for opening up and sharing your journey with us.
Lily says
Oh sweet friend, I’m so sorry you are going thru this. As someone who worked in the medical field for years, I can totally see how chronic illness and depression go hand in hand. Sending you so much love and hugs!
Becky says
I think it’s so important to talk about these things, so kudos to you for posting about it. I wrote on my blog about a week ago the bad period of depression/anxiety I’m going through, and I’m still fighting that – so you are not alone.Thank you for being brave enough to speak up and I hope your journey gets easier.
Lauren says
There are not enough words to describe how much I appreciate this post. Depression can be really hard, and chronic illness definitely adds another element to it. As a future doctor, that’s definitely something I want to keep in mind and be aware of with my patients.
Becky says
I think it’s so important to talk about these things, so kudos to you for posting about it. I wrote on my blog about a week ago the bad period of depression/anxiety I’m going through, and I’m still fighting that – so you are not alone.Thank you for being brave enough to speak up and I hope your journey gets easier.
Tonya Morris says
Sending you so much love! I’m sorry you’re dealing with all of this but know you have an amazing support system wishing you well and cheering you on!
Jamaria Johnson says
Thank you so much for your transparency. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this! Sending you hugs! xo
Tonya Morris says
Sending you so much love! I’m sorry you’re dealing with all of this but know you have an amazing support system wishing you well and cheering you on!
Jamaria Johnson says
Thank you so much for your transparency. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this! Sending you hugs! xo
Kileen says
I’m so sorry you are going through this!! You are amazing and worthy of this life, don’t let that toxic voice tell you otherwise!!
Kileen
cute & little
Kristina says
Thanks for sharing this real and vulnerable post- not everything is picture perfect and we all struggle with things in our real lives and it’s okay to take time to focus on yourself and your health!
Kristen says
Thank you for sharing your story and expressing what so many going thru your same experience are feeling. I hope that things are able to be focused on the positive and you are able to overcome what is able to.
Nataly says
As someone who has struggled with depression for a long time, I know what you are going through. I loved that you shared your story and how it has impacted your life. Keep your head up babe!!! You are amazing!!
Bryanna says
Mental illness really does take over your whole body. I’ve never actually thought of it like that, until I read your post. Now it makes so much sense. Thanks for sharing the seriousness of mental illness and how it can intertwine with the rest of your being. Stay strong girl!
xoxo Bryanna
Nataly says
As someone who has struggled with depression for a long time, I know what you are going through. I loved that you shared your story and how it has impacted your life. Keep your head up babe!!! You are amazing!!
Ashley says
I can relate to this so much. When I lost my job, I found myself taking afternoon naps every day because I was so tired…but what I didn’t realize is that I was actually really depressed! Thank you for sharing your journey and being open and honest!
Erin @ Her Heartland Soul says
This makes a lot of sense to me. My IBS flares up when my anxiety flares up. Everything’s connected.
Tara Fuller says
i know this pain all too well and it IS vile! It’s a sick cycle when it starts to voice things in your mind and ultimately destroy any drive to be productive. I have my bouts too – know you aren’t alone and I’m sending all my support!
Laura Leigh says
I am so sorry Stephanie. You are so strong for sharing all of this with us and you know there are so many that are going to feel stronger due to you doing so. I admire you and look up to you! I am sending you lots of hugs and all of the support!
xo Laura Leigh
http://www.louellareese.com
Anna English says
This is such an informative post Stephanie! Thanks for sharing.
Laura Leigh says
I am so sorry Stephanie. You are so strong for sharing all of this with us and you know there are so many that are going to feel stronger due to you doing so. I admire you and look up to you! I am sending you lots of hugs and all of the support!
xo Laura Leigh
http://www.louellareese.com
Deborah says
Thank you for writing this post. My mom struggles with chronic illness (she has rheumatoid arthritis) and she also suffers from depression. She has said something similar to you in that she feels that she’s unable to live a “normal” life and that she’s even hyperaware of it because she cognizant of how she was able to live BEFORE her illness and how she just physically can’t do some of the things she used to be able to. I hate that illness and depression go hand in hand, as much as it does make sense to me and I think you’re so strong for sharing this with us!
Deborah says
Thank you for writing this post. My mom struggles with chronic illness (she has rheumatoid arthritis) and she also suffers from depression. She has said something similar to you in that she feels that she’s unable to live a “normal” life and that she’s even hyperaware of it because she cognizant of how she was able to live BEFORE her illness and how she just physically can’t do some of the things she used to be able to. I hate that illness and depression go hand in hand, as much as it does make sense to me and I think you’re so strong for sharing this with us!
Caitlin says
This post hit home. Thank you!
Jennifer Prince says
Oh yes! I can totally imagine these two going together often. We need to be more open and chat about this more. I am so glad you are bringing it to light!
Caitlin says
This post hit home. Thank you!
Jennifer Prince says
Oh yes! I can totally imagine these two going together often. We need to be more open and chat about this more. I am so glad you are bringing it to light!
Riley Darrough says
This is such a topic that no one wants to talk about. Thank you for opening up about this!
Riley Darrough says
This is such a topic that no one wants to talk about. Thank you for opening up about this!
Tara Fuller says
i know this pain all too well and it IS vile! It’s a sick cycle when it starts to voice things in your mind and ultimately destroy any drive to be productive. I have my bouts too – know you aren’t alone and I’m sending all my support!
Lauren says
There are not enough words to describe how much I appreciate this post. Depression can be really hard, and chronic illness definitely adds another element to it. As a future doctor, that’s definitely something I want to keep in mind and be aware of with my patients.
Kileen says
I’m so sorry you are going through this!! You are amazing and worthy of this life, don’t let that toxic voice tell you otherwise!!
Kileen
cute & little
Kristen says
Thank you for sharing your story and expressing what so many going thru your same experience are feeling. I hope that things are able to be focused on the positive and you are able to overcome what is able to.
Erin @ Her Heartland Soul says
This makes a lot of sense to me. My IBS flares up when my anxiety flares up. Everything’s connected.
Kristina says
Thanks for sharing this real and vulnerable post- not everything is picture perfect and we all struggle with things in our real lives and it’s okay to take time to focus on yourself and your health!
Bryanna says
Mental illness really does take over your whole body. I’ve never actually thought of it like that, until I read your post. Now it makes so much sense. Thanks for sharing the seriousness of mental illness and how it can intertwine with the rest of your being. Stay strong girl!
xoxo Bryanna
Anna English says
This is such an informative post Stephanie! Thanks for sharing.
Ashley says
I can relate to this so much. When I lost my job, I found myself taking afternoon naps every day because I was so tired…but what I didn’t realize is that I was actually really depressed! Thank you for sharing your journey and being open and honest!
Adriana Renee says
Thanks for sharing and sending you all the love! It’s so hard to understand what’s happening sometimes and it’s always important to share.
Rachel says
Stephanie – This post is amazing. Oftentimes, people don’t realize that chronic illness and depression go hand in hand and this post can help them understand. I hope your flare-ups get better soon!
Rachel
Yolanda says
I completely understand where you are coming from as I struggle with this battle too. The bad days are bad, but one thing I try to do is focus on the good days and cherish those as much as possible. Big hugs to you and hers to kicking depression in the butt! xox
Cathy says
It’s so true, it’s easy to fall into depression when struggling with a cronic illness. It’s so good that you are aware of this and helping spread awareness. You’re an amazing person and you can overcome all of it! You got this!
XOXO
Cathy
Maria says
I so appreciate you sharing your story, the more we share, the more we increase understanding and help reduce stigma. Keep up the good work!
Hillary Conheady says
I love how open you are in this blog post! Thank you so much for sharing and sending love your way!
Tanvi Rastogi says
The sad thing about mental illness IS that it is connected and our whole body starts to react when we are not mentally healthy. I appreciate you shedding light on this matter. I hope you feel better soon. Xx
❥ tanvii.com
Anna says
What an amazing and inspiring post for those going through the same thing. Thanks for sharing your perspective!
Katie Buller says
It’s so lovely that you’ve chosen to share this post. What a brilliant and inspiring topic to write about.
Donna says
You are one of the toughest people I know; fighting pain and demons at the same time. I’m glad that your toolbox is full and you have the weapons that you need for each battle. I’m proud of you for honestly sharing openly with others. There is strength in numbers and that can only happen as the stigma for those with depression and chronic illness is obliterated. You go girl!